Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I just asked a question yesterday if people thought I was a psychopath and got no, I need help?
Yesterday I looked up traits of a psychopath and 15 of 17 applied to me, I was told by the majority of people answering that no I was not psychotic, crazy, insane, whatever like my friends call me and like I thought I was but I want to know what is wrong with me, that part was never answered. I feel like I am better than everyone else, like everyone should give me whatever I want and laws shouldn't apply to me. Like I can get away with anything, I am ALWAYS bored. I can almost never find something to do and when I can after maybe an hour tops it gets boring. I lie like my life depends on it, I feel I can never tell the truth even to my closest friends and family. I always try to manipulate people out of their thoughts and possessions to side with me which most of the time succeeds. I never feel remorse or guilt or negative in any way after I do something no matter what it is. I make a hobby of threatening people, I will actually spend hours sometimes thinking of ways to kill people, hide bodies, creating thorough plans for bank robberies, and things like that. I have never felt love in my life; my aunt died on my birthday and I sat there like nothing ever happened. I have never cared about my family aside to 2 or 3 cousins who I only feel are like my friends. I am extremely quick to anger, if anyone upsets me which since it happens all the time i'm guessing its easy to do, it makes me turn violent and start hitting them. I don't want to speak in depth about this but i've done more bad things in my past than your average criminal does in a lifetime. The parts i'm willing to say are stealing very small things from friends but it gets much more serious. I will admit my long term plans for life are a bit off the charts, I want to either dominate the world and kill everyone including myself or become a bank robber. I know for a fact that I am irresponsible because if a friend is at my house and my parents are leaving us alone for a while my mom will tell my friend where they are going and for how long ect. instead of me and at one point actually got my friend to answer the phone instead of me. I don't usually accept responsibility for things i've done but most of them are stupid reasons we got in trouble for, either way I blame other people for anything I do. I am as paranoid as I can get, at my school every couple seconds I will have to turn around and make sure that there is no murderer with a shotgun behind me. I am also secretive, I have only ever trusted one person to tell them the truth about something personal (that I can remember at least). And personally I think I am normal its everyone else who is not right in the head but my friends seem to think otherwise. Aside to those mentioned above I have an EXTREME obsession with the Columbine High School Massacre, the Virginia Tech Massacre, 9/11, Nazis, Swastikas, Bank Robbery, Mass Murder, Genocide, Pablo Escobar, John Dillinger, and I watch videos on a website on the internet of real people dying and dead and like it. I just want to clarify if I'm mistaken and something is wrong with me or if I'm right and my friends just jump to conclusions. Sorry this was all one big paragraph. Thanks for reading.
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